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josselinI have been reading all of Rizabeau's QAF stories at the Across the Pond Archive. Her stories are delightfully long.
The first is in "Caprice" part three, when Brian and Michael are laughing about something, and Brian says, "Fuck, I think I got engaged." It reminded me of the scene in early season three, when Michael and Brian are smoking pot together and giggling over their old school yearbook. This is the only really convincing vision I can see of Brian announcing an 'engagement' - in a moment when he's not altogether himself, pronouncing it in a tone of bemusement - how did this happen to me, again? And of course, Michael would suddenly sober up, and be like - "What? You're engaged?"
My second favorite moment is in "Jingle All the Way," when Brian and Justin are dressed up in the matching goofy shirts Emmett got them for Christmas and laughing and dancing in the loft when all the gang bursts in to see them. It's a perfect moment. You can picture the combination of Justin's enticements and Brian in the right mood combining into a goofy dance, and since the loft is Grand Central Station, of course someone would come by and burst in. And this would be even worse for Brian than having a fuck interrupted, because this reveals his softer side, and suddenly everyone knows that he cares about Justin enough to dance around the loft wearing a goofy shirt.
My third favorite moment is in "Ritorna A Me" part three, when the guys are all at the diner, and Brian dumps his eggs on Justin's plate while Justin is distracted, and then a few minutes later, Justin refocuses on his plate, and says, "Did I order eggs?" The others try not to grin, and Brian attempts to look innocent. Justin eats the eggs. This is exactly the kind of snarky in-joke they have on the show. We need more snarky in-jokes!
And for some reason, I have only had angsty daydreams today.
I have taken the Vermont wedding idea out of Rizabeau's "Songs in the Key of Love" series and twisted it to avoid the happy ending, which makes it somewhat more realistic to me. (Don't get me wrong - a little un-realism in fanfic now and then is wonderful. That's part of the reason we even have fanfic, to indulge fantasies that we even know are unrealistic. And I went back to reread the part when Brian shows up at Justin's house at the end like a dozen times. But today I seem determined to be depressed and can't believe in a happy ending.) I love how Rizabeau has Brian promise to take care of Justin financially even as they're planning to separate. That seems very true to character, particularly since Brian believes a deal's a deal and in this story he's already signed contracts in Vermont. But suppose that the whole baby crisis never came up, and the two separated anyway. This is believable even with the backstory Rizabeau has set up, with Ethan and Tate. Anyway, so they've separated at some point, and gotten back together, and separated again, etc, because they really just can't live together. So now we skip forward many years in time, and Justin is living in some college town, working part time as an art teacher, and working on his own artwork the rest of the time. He's seeing another professor at the college (we'll call him... Mark). Mark is starting to realize that the assumptions that Justin allows him to make don't all add up. For example, he knows from his own experience at the college that Justin can't be making a lot of money, especially only working part time. And he has only moderate success as a freelance artist. So this could maybe explain Justin's wardrobe choices, and his smallish apartment, but it doesn't explain his Lexus, or the various expensive paintings casually displayed in his apartment. So Mark figured that Justin's family had money or something, but other things Justin has said lead him to believe that Justin is still estranged from his father.
It's not just the finances not adding up, either. Mark notices other things, like the silver ring Justin casually refuses to ever take off, though he doesn't wear it on his ring finger. The college doesn't provide benefits for part time employees, but Justin somehow has extensive insurance, which he realized when the two of them got food poisoning at a faculty picnic.
And then one day, in the evening, when he and Justin were relaxing with some good books and glasses of wine, a guy rings the doorbell. Mark goes to the door, and who does he see but Brian Kinney, who has of course managed to age well, since we all know that Brian will always be beautiful. "I need to talk to Justin," Brian says softly, and Mark goes to get him. Justin comes to the door, sees who it is, puts on his coat, and walks out without another word. Mark is astonished.
Justin comes back later that evening, with an air of calm sadness about him. Mark tries to be understanding. "So who's that?" He asks, trying for the most neutral question he can think of.
Justin sigh, sipping his wine from earlier, which is now warm, though Justin doesn't seem to notice. "I have to start at the beginning," Justin says, and Mark nods, because that sounds reasonable.
"I'm actually married," Justin admits, and for a moment Mark doesn't get it, and he's picturing a wife somewhere, and alimony payments, maybe even kids or something, and then clues in.
"It's him, isn't it?"
Justin nods.
"So why aren't you together?"
"We can't really live together," Justin begins, and regales Mark with a shortened version of the whole tale. The marriage, all the fights and separations, and how Brian's always been good to him - always provided for him, and how he himself came to be able to accept Brian's help in order to do what he really wanted to do. So they get to the current point, where Justin is forty-five and working on what he likes to do.
And finally they get down to the real question. "Why did he come here tonight?" Mark asks, afraid of the answer, because of course this is the question that really matters.
Justin looks up from his wine glass, now long empty, refilled, and empty again, and stares Mark in the eye. "Brian has cancer. He wanted to tell me in person."
And yes, that's a really evil place to stop a narrative, but in my version, Brian doesn't make it, and there's really no reason to spin out the rest of a story that completely depressing. On that note, I'm off to bed, hoping for happier thoughts to come in the morning.
The first is in "Caprice" part three, when Brian and Michael are laughing about something, and Brian says, "Fuck, I think I got engaged." It reminded me of the scene in early season three, when Michael and Brian are smoking pot together and giggling over their old school yearbook. This is the only really convincing vision I can see of Brian announcing an 'engagement' - in a moment when he's not altogether himself, pronouncing it in a tone of bemusement - how did this happen to me, again? And of course, Michael would suddenly sober up, and be like - "What? You're engaged?"
My second favorite moment is in "Jingle All the Way," when Brian and Justin are dressed up in the matching goofy shirts Emmett got them for Christmas and laughing and dancing in the loft when all the gang bursts in to see them. It's a perfect moment. You can picture the combination of Justin's enticements and Brian in the right mood combining into a goofy dance, and since the loft is Grand Central Station, of course someone would come by and burst in. And this would be even worse for Brian than having a fuck interrupted, because this reveals his softer side, and suddenly everyone knows that he cares about Justin enough to dance around the loft wearing a goofy shirt.
My third favorite moment is in "Ritorna A Me" part three, when the guys are all at the diner, and Brian dumps his eggs on Justin's plate while Justin is distracted, and then a few minutes later, Justin refocuses on his plate, and says, "Did I order eggs?" The others try not to grin, and Brian attempts to look innocent. Justin eats the eggs. This is exactly the kind of snarky in-joke they have on the show. We need more snarky in-jokes!
And for some reason, I have only had angsty daydreams today.
I have taken the Vermont wedding idea out of Rizabeau's "Songs in the Key of Love" series and twisted it to avoid the happy ending, which makes it somewhat more realistic to me. (Don't get me wrong - a little un-realism in fanfic now and then is wonderful. That's part of the reason we even have fanfic, to indulge fantasies that we even know are unrealistic. And I went back to reread the part when Brian shows up at Justin's house at the end like a dozen times. But today I seem determined to be depressed and can't believe in a happy ending.) I love how Rizabeau has Brian promise to take care of Justin financially even as they're planning to separate. That seems very true to character, particularly since Brian believes a deal's a deal and in this story he's already signed contracts in Vermont. But suppose that the whole baby crisis never came up, and the two separated anyway. This is believable even with the backstory Rizabeau has set up, with Ethan and Tate. Anyway, so they've separated at some point, and gotten back together, and separated again, etc, because they really just can't live together. So now we skip forward many years in time, and Justin is living in some college town, working part time as an art teacher, and working on his own artwork the rest of the time. He's seeing another professor at the college (we'll call him... Mark). Mark is starting to realize that the assumptions that Justin allows him to make don't all add up. For example, he knows from his own experience at the college that Justin can't be making a lot of money, especially only working part time. And he has only moderate success as a freelance artist. So this could maybe explain Justin's wardrobe choices, and his smallish apartment, but it doesn't explain his Lexus, or the various expensive paintings casually displayed in his apartment. So Mark figured that Justin's family had money or something, but other things Justin has said lead him to believe that Justin is still estranged from his father.
It's not just the finances not adding up, either. Mark notices other things, like the silver ring Justin casually refuses to ever take off, though he doesn't wear it on his ring finger. The college doesn't provide benefits for part time employees, but Justin somehow has extensive insurance, which he realized when the two of them got food poisoning at a faculty picnic.
And then one day, in the evening, when he and Justin were relaxing with some good books and glasses of wine, a guy rings the doorbell. Mark goes to the door, and who does he see but Brian Kinney, who has of course managed to age well, since we all know that Brian will always be beautiful. "I need to talk to Justin," Brian says softly, and Mark goes to get him. Justin comes to the door, sees who it is, puts on his coat, and walks out without another word. Mark is astonished.
Justin comes back later that evening, with an air of calm sadness about him. Mark tries to be understanding. "So who's that?" He asks, trying for the most neutral question he can think of.
Justin sigh, sipping his wine from earlier, which is now warm, though Justin doesn't seem to notice. "I have to start at the beginning," Justin says, and Mark nods, because that sounds reasonable.
"I'm actually married," Justin admits, and for a moment Mark doesn't get it, and he's picturing a wife somewhere, and alimony payments, maybe even kids or something, and then clues in.
"It's him, isn't it?"
Justin nods.
"So why aren't you together?"
"We can't really live together," Justin begins, and regales Mark with a shortened version of the whole tale. The marriage, all the fights and separations, and how Brian's always been good to him - always provided for him, and how he himself came to be able to accept Brian's help in order to do what he really wanted to do. So they get to the current point, where Justin is forty-five and working on what he likes to do.
And finally they get down to the real question. "Why did he come here tonight?" Mark asks, afraid of the answer, because of course this is the question that really matters.
Justin looks up from his wine glass, now long empty, refilled, and empty again, and stares Mark in the eye. "Brian has cancer. He wanted to tell me in person."
And yes, that's a really evil place to stop a narrative, but in my version, Brian doesn't make it, and there's really no reason to spin out the rest of a story that completely depressing. On that note, I'm off to bed, hoping for happier thoughts to come in the morning.
